Stop Performing Mindfulness

In this episode we’re going to talk about Mindfulness Misconceptions. Because unfortunately there are some ways that mass media and pop culture talk about mindfulness that are not helpful for beginners and can lead to a lot of unnecessary frustration as you’re starting a practice.

When I first tried meditation I would get super frustrated with myself because I would try to stay focused on my breath, but that was really hard. My mind always seemed to be racing with thoughts and I would then heap all this judgment and shame on myself.

“Ugh, why am I so bad at this? My mind keeps thinking! I’m supposed to clear my mind. What’s wrong with me? I can’t do this.”

When I actually studied mindfulness and got my certification, I learned that clearing my mind wasn’t actually required. There really was nothing to DO in mindfulness meditation except notice my experience with kind curiosity.

Coming to understand that was SO FREEING!

I started to understand that one of the key factors to mindfulness meditation was me being kind to myself while I was practicing, even when my mind wandered. And also that it was no big deal and even expected that my mind was going to wander.

It took so much pressure off me to “get mindfulness right” when I realized, “Oh, there really isn’t a right or wrong here and I can relax about this.”

Mindfulness Misconceptions

Hopefully talking through some mindfulness misconceptions will help you relax and feel more empowered in your practice, too.

❌ You have to completely clear your mind

Nope. In mindfulness meditation your brain is going to continue doing what it does — keeping your body alive and processing your experience. Focusing on your breath gives your mind a simple, present moment task, but the brain is gonna brain. Thoughts are going to come up, and it’s no big deal. You’re not failing if your mind doesn’t become a blank void.

❌ You’re failing if your have thoughts

Again, no. You’re just becoming an intentional, kind and curious witness to whatever is happening in your present moment, and that might be a lot of mind chatter. Thoughts are just part of your present moment. The key is to notice them without engaging with them. Just watch them come and go.

❌ A “good meditation” is when your mind is quiet

I honestly don’t think there’s such a think as a “good” or “bad” meditation. Maybe you find it more peaceful and relaxing when you mind isn’t as busy with thoughts, but your mind’s state is not a mark of success or failure - it just is what it is.

❌ A “bad meditation” is when your mind is busy

Again, your mind’s state is not a mark of success of failure. Just that your mind is busy. As my kid once said, “I have a lot of brain going on.” Sometimes that’s what’s happening in our present moment.

❌ You have to meditate for a LONG time

I practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes each day, and later in this series I’ll teach you a technique that takes less than a minute. If thinking “I don’t have the time!” is your biggest barrier to practicing mindfulness regularly, think again.

❌ You have to meditate in a specific way (or even AT ALL!)

There are mindfulness gurus out there who will try to convince you that you have to meditate in specific ways, usually using their expensive meditation tracks. I am not one of them. There are many ways to access the present moment and what matters is finding a way that works for you.

Additionally, informal mindfulness also counts as practicing mindfulness. You don’t have to sit quietly with your eyes closed. You can practice mindful eating, mindful handwashing, mindful cooking, mindful anything.

Remember…

Let’s go back to our simple definition of mindfulness — a special way of paying attention to the present moment with kind curiosity.

Do you see any of these misconceptions present in this definition? (I don’t. 😉)

Stay with this definition and gently, kindly, and maybe even curiously, let go of any other ideas you may have picked up about mindfulness that don’t fit with this.

Thank you so much for joining me! If you found this content helpful and inspiring, I’d be honored if you’d leave a comment, share it with your actor pals, and check out my offerings below. Thanks!

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I’m a professional actor, a mindfulness and mindset coach, and I’m ready to help you thrive in your actor life.

🎭 I’ve been a professional actress for almost 20 years. I’ve survived 3 industry shut downs - 2 strikes and 1 global pandemic. I’ve worked in TV, film, commercials, and produced my own award-winning web series.

🧠 I’ve been a life coach for 5 years, specializing in mindfulness and neurolinguistic programming and helping people become more aware and focused on making positive changes in their lives.

💖 I blend lived experience with powerful, proven coaching tools.

🎢 Let’s get you feeling resilient, empowered, focused, playful, relaxed, confident, and riding the acting career roller coaster without throwing up! 🤗