"Outsiders" Will Never Get It...

An area of #ActorLife that is often overlooked, but crucially important when it comes to maintaining a strong, resilient mindset, is the interactions that we have with the people in our lives who are not actors and have no connection to the entertainment industry — “outsiders.”

As I’ve talked about previously, “outsiders” tend to view the profession of acting in one way, while actors view it in a completely different way because we actually engage in and understand the realities of the acting career.

This mismatch can cause stress in our relationships, and if we aren’t careful about how we approach these interactions, they can really mess with our self-concept as actors and our overall actor mindset.

“Outsider” Thinking Can Tank Our Mindset

Acting is a WEIRD profession that most people are exposed to every day, but that can really only be understood by people who actively engage in it — ACTORS!

Folks on the outside looking in will never understand what it is like to be an actor.

What they know about the acting career comes from watching actors — in TV shows, movies, plays, etc — and hearing celebrity actors talk about how the entertainment industry works for them.

But that’s just one, very exclusive type of actor experience that is just not reality for so many of us.

Additionally, the stories celebrity actors tell about their experiences in the entertainment industry are often boiled down to really simplistic and punchy sound bites — “Yeah, I read the script and then called up Steven and said, ‘Let’s make a movie!’ and the rest is history!”

This is why your aunt says stuff like, “Why don’t you just call up so-and-so and ask to be in their movie?” — it’s all she knows!

Because they don’t get it, the outsiders in our lives will say and do things that irritate us and often trigger our insecurities.

“When am I gonna see you on my TV?” — because being an actor is an “either/or” for them. You’re either an actor whose “made it” and is on TV, or you’re “trying to do the actor thing.”

If those are our only two options, most of us end up in the “trying to do the actor thing” box, which can feel really crappy.

Then, if we’re not careful, we can adopt that “outsider” perspective for ourselves, which is what really messes with our actor mindset and causes us to start thinking, “Yeah, I haven’t made it, I’m not really an actor” the subconscious subtext of which is usually, “My career is not good enough, I’m not good enough.”

That’s a really difficult headspace to be in as an actor.

Having To Constantly Explain and Justify Our Careers

Additionally, we all want to feel understood and accepted because a sense of belonging is important to all humans.

So we explain, and explain, and explain again, hoping this time they’ll finally understand how the casting process actually works —

“No, dad, it’s great that I got another audition from this office. It means that they like my work.”

— but they never do —

“Okay…but you haven’t booked? How is that good? When are you going to book?”

— and we end up wasting precious energy, leaving us feeling exhausted, stressed, frustrated, insecure, AND STILL MISUNDERSTOOD!

It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way

Fortunately, there is a way out of this mess through mindfulness and mindset work.

Mindfulness meditation gives us a foundation of self-care and self-awareness so that we can acknowledge and honor the feelings that these interactions can trigger in us, without letting them take over and completely tank our mindset.

We practice this on the weeks where I lead us in mindfulness meditation — just sitting with thoughts and feelings, letting them be there without clinging to them or pushing them away. We don’t have to make them mean something bad about us, and we can nurture ourselves through any feelings that come up.

Additionally, once we’re aware that these interactions with “outsiders” are exhausting and messing with our self-concept as actors, we can find ways to protect our energy and reframe these interactions so that they have empowering meanings instead of meanings that make us feel bad about ourselves.

We can let go of the need for “outsiders” to get it and we can anchor confidence in our mind and body.

But HOW, Amy? HOW?!?!

To really get into this topic with the depth it deserves requires us to continue this party off the PodTubeStack in my two upcoming workshops.

The first workshop is Mindfulness 101: Empower Your Craft and Your Career with Your Presence. We’re gonna break down mindfulness so that it becomes so simple and accessible that you can start making it a way of life that supports you in all aspects of your acting career.

• Calm those nerves before a big scene

• Stay present and connected with your scene partner

• Ride the highs and lows of The Acting Career Roller Coaster with calm resilience instead of disdain and self-loathing

The second workshop is Dealing With Folks Who Don’t Get It: Stop Feeling Like Crap After Every Phone Call & Gathering. That’s where we’re gonna dive deep on this problem and set you up with a specific plan that leaves you feeling confident in yourself and your acting career no matter what banana pants thing the outsiders in your life say or ask.

We’ll talk about…

• Maintaining and Protecting Your Energy

• Finding Ways to Feel Understood by Folks Who DO Get It

• Letting Go of The Need for “Outsiders” to Get It

• Reframing Interactions to Have Empowering Meanings

• Anchoring Confidence in our Mind and Body

These two workshops are bundled together in…

The December Double Feature!

It’s two AWESOME Zoom workshops in ONE bundled offer, so you can feel calm, resilient, empowered, focused, relaxed, and confident going into The New Year!

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